Cancer…Yada, Yada

cancer-yada-yadaIf everything goes well, this week should be a finale of sorts for me. Tomorrow will be my sixth chemo treatment in this series, the final one (hopefully).

After going through cancer treatment and surgery in 2004 and again this year, I am simultaneously bored with my own cancer and thrilled to dive into advocacy at this point.

As for my own story at the moment, I keep thinking that I’m repeating myself in my regular posts. Perhaps I should go the Seinfeld route and make it more succinct…

Question: What’s going on with you?

Me: Oh, you know, I went to the doctor…and you know–Yada, Yada–I have cancer again.

Question: What happens now?

Me: Oh, treatment and surgery, Yada, Yada.

The thought of what will happen next in this particular cancer journey scares me to my bones. I’m not frightened of the surgery per se, but rather the unknown that lies beyond it. The change that is coming no matter how I might turn, or how much I wish to hide.

The thought of using this terrible time in my life for something good keeps me going. Perhaps it is one of those dreams that God puts in our hearts, or just a desperation on my own part to find some reason to keep going.

But maybe there is a reason for all of this. And perhaps I can use my writing–and my pain–to help others through their own fires of change.

I’ve tentatively made contact with the American Cancer Society to become one voice among many to raise awareness for cancer, but particularly hereditary cancer and its relation to rare genetic mutations like PTEN. And I have applied to become an official Second Life blogger for the SL Christmas Expo.

Honestly, I would gladly step out of my storyline at this point and move on to something different, something less painful. But I’m holding on to the possibility that I can make a difference and be an advocate for those rare birds like myself.

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