Having cancer wasn’t part of my plans. And having cancer a second time?
Indeed, cancer is like a thief who arrives suddenly, stealing all of the things you hold dear. He then decides to stick around, drinking coffee with you each morning and lying beside you at night. If a bit of goodness comes your way, he’s always ready to snatch it away.
Eventually, as the months have passed, I can’t even recognize myself in the mirror. Body and soul, I have changed.
But there is that grasping onto the past, all of those dreams and plans that I had. Having lost control of my body and life, I want my old self back. That self who could walk without pain. That person who could easily work ten hours per day. Someone who could spend hours reading and then suddenly get the urge to write.
Now things have changed. I have changed.
Reading Wonderlife by Mike Foster, I find a quote to ponder:
“God can’t change who we’re becoming until we let go of who we were.” –Bob Goff
That’s my challenge at this point. Accept how my life has changed–how I have changed–and mourn for what I have lost. And then move forward.